Your baby nursery

Where you live will probably dictate whether a baby nursery is the norm; and your budget and living accommodation will influence whether you are able to follow that norm or tradition and supply your new baby with their own separate nursery.

A baby nursery, or separate bedroom for a new born, is not the usual practice in many countries. My children by my first marriage were brought up in England, where a baby, on being taken home from hospital, will go home to a separate bedroom or nursery. My young daughter, Saffron, was born here in the Philippines where the tradition is for babies to sleep with the parents.

It can be a difficult choice for new parents: do we put our new baby in her own nursery room, or do we have her in our bedroom in a crib or even in our bed? There are conflicting opinions about this choice, and it is one that attracted quite a lot of comment and surprise here when we opted to put Saffron in her own crib in her own nursery room, the day she came home from the baby clinic.

I was very firm in my own mind that a separate room is best in the long term, and therefore it is best in the beginning. A baby, and then child, will grow in accordance with what they are used to, and what they come to see and feel as the norm. The most important things for a baby are that :

1. They are fed well;

2. They are kept clean;

3. They are comfortable;

4. They feel secure knowing that the parents, especially mother, will be there when she wakes.

5. They are loved.

All of those things are easily achievable in a baby nursery separate from the parents' room.

Advantages Of A Separate Baby Nursery

A separate baby nursery brings with it a number of important advantages, for the baby and the parents. These include:

1. The baby will sleep undisturbed by parents coming and going. As they get older, that will be particularly important in the evening and night.

2. The parents will have their own privacy and time for themselves. This will be more and more appreciated as the weeks, months and then years pass.

3. The parents will sleep better too, especially compared to those who have a baby in their own bed.

4. The baby is more likely to grow into a strong and independent child, with a large amount of confidence. So long as they are happy and secure, they will not be worried about sleeping alone, as this is what they have come to expect. They know that when they wake, their mother and father are close to hand.

Disadvantages Of A Separate Baby Nursery

I cannot think of one genuine disadvantage of a separate baby nursery, assuming that the room is within earshot. A baby at birth can cry quite loudly, and why should that be if the natural state is always for the mother to be at their side? A baby cries so mother can hear from a distance. If that distance is another bedroom nearby, then that is fine. The baby will be unconcerned if it cries and you appear through a door rather than at her side already.

Some first time parents will worry that they will not hear the baby if they are asleep and she is in a separate room. There is no need to worry; the mother especially will be tuned in to the cry of the baby, and will be subconsciously alert to the slightest sound. My wife was concerned about this very thing when Saffron was born, so for her assurance we left our bedroom door open, and Saffron's door too. She soon realised there was no risk of not hearing the baby, so first Saffron's door, and then our door, were later kept closed at night.

Always remember, babies cry to be heard, so unless you are both very heavy sleepers, there is very little chance of you not hearing the baby when she is hungry, needs changing, or has some other problem.

Your child is missing

If your child is missing, time is of the essence! Take a deep breath and try to remember the last place you saw your child. If your child is missing from home, search the house quickly, check the closets, basement, and laundry, under beds, where ever else you think your child may crawl or hide. Check the doors and windows, do you see any way somebody got in. Yell out their name. Remember all this must be acted on as fast as possible! I can’t stress that enough!

If you still cannot find your child, immediately call your police department!

Be ready to have as much as possible details for the police. Try not to panic as the police department will need your help. Grab as much recent photos of your child as possible. They will need to know vital information of your child. When you call the police, provide your child’s name, child's age, height, weight, and any other unique identifiers such as eyeglasses and braces. Tell them when you noticed that your child was missing and what clothing he or she was wearing. Supply them with the photos and if there is any signs of a break in.

Let them know of any possible reasons your child may be missing. Where there any friends or strangers in the home before? Are you going through custody problems? Many missing children are abducted by family members or known people.

The best thing to do is prepare your kids to help prevent theses situations. Let them know over and over. Don’t speak to strangers. If you feel threatened let somebody know as soon as possible. If you are grabbed, yell out loud for help! No one has the right to touch, grab or force you to do anything that feels wrong. Tell them to bite and fight as much as they can. Many times these simple things will scare of a would be abductor.

Is your child ready for kindergarten

It is that time of year again. If you child is already 5 or will be turning 5 on or before Oct. 1 (date depends on your state) then it is time to start thinking about registering your child for kindergarten. However this is also the time that many parents begin worrying about whether or not their child is ready for kindergarten.

First, it is important to note that entry to kindergarten is based primarily on age. In most U. S. states that simply means that if your child is or will be 5 years old on or before Oct. 1 (date may vary in some states) then your child must start kindergarten that school year.

The good news is that most primary programs are designed to take children with a variety of social, emotional, and academic needs and work with them based on their strengths.

However we also know that children who start kindergarten with a good grounding in six skill areas have a head start and a higher success rate than children lacking these basic skills.

The skills that ease transition into kindergarten and help lead to a successful kindergarten year fall into these basic areas: cognitive skills, listening and sequencing, language skills, fine motor skills, social emotional skills, and gross motor skills.

Cognitive skills that will help your child be better prepared for kindergarten include the usual suspects such as knowing the alphabet, primary colors, shapes and being able to count to ten.

You should also work with your child to make sure she knows her phone number, address, birthday, and age.

Some emergent literacy skills also include being able to identify his own name in writing, writing his own name, answering questions about a story, understanding that words are read from left to right, knowledge of some nursery rhymes, recognizing written numbers, and vocabulary.

Listening and sequencing are also important skills and this includes the ability to follow simple directions, paying attention, retelling a simple story in sequence, repeating a sequence of sounds, and repeating a sequence of numbers.

In addition to the emergent literacy skills connected with cognitive skills, there are also language skills connected to relationships such as big and little, short and tall, more and less, up and down, top and bottom, in and out, over and under, front and back, and slow and fast.

While we often associate school simply with cognitive skills, it is important that children also have fine and gross motor skills as well as social emotional skills.

Fine motor skills include being able to tie shoes, hold crayons with fingers, copy a straight line, copy a vertical line, copy a circle, hold and use scissors correctly, cut on a line, button buttons, work a simple puzzle (six pieces), and zip clothing.

Gross motor skills include hopping, jumping, walking a straight line, skipping, galloping, throwing a ball or bean bag, catching, clapping hands, and kicking a rolling ball.

Social emotional skills include sharing with others, getting along with others, maintaining self control, verbal self expression, and the ability to take care of toilet needs independently.

If your child has all these skills mastered then they are well on the road to success in kindergarten. Don't worry if your child has not yet achieved success with all these skills. You can continue to work on the skills right up until the start of school and certainly after school has started you can team with your child's teacher.